Illiterarty.com Book reviews and blogs by Bridget

If this was written by a middle-class douchebag with all the observational skill but zero percent of the humour, it would be any Ian Fleming book.

When you're trying to compete with Florida Disney for your place in the developers market, everything's fair. Right? Even the invention of an endangered species?

Joey Perrone wants revenge on her husband for trying to kill her for no good reason. Her husband, Chaz, wants to get rich and stay that way, by keeping his dirty little un-environmental secret. Can Joey get her husband back and save what's left of the Florida Everglades?

I like to ensure that, before I leave the house for the morning, my beard is freshly trimmed, my teeth are shining like a toothpaste commercial, and the tips of my shoes are gleaming with reflected early morning sunlight. I use cold cream on my face at night to keep my skin elastic, and every second evening place cucumber slices over my closed eyes to restore that green glint, to reduce redness, and to slow down the aging process.

A rollicking adventure starring Peter Pascoe, about blue movies, dubiously moralled Kinema Clubs, even more dubiously moralled girls, the women’s liberation movement, and whether or not the dentist did it, orchestrated by the fat and brilliant Superintendent Dalziel.

It takes a lot of self-discipline to do what I do.

In a world where beauty opens every door, can a person be brave enough to be everything they don’t want to be?

If this was a restaurant, it would serve Springbok kebabs with a union jack spiked, half-jokingly, into the top.

The fireman, his eyes

If this was about Big Brother, rather than UK Idol, and marginally less sucky, it would be called Dead Famous, the author's previous literary nadir.