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Book review: <i>Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency</i> by Douglas Adams


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Yes, I do love Douglas Adams. Yes, this book is one of my most favouritest books on the face of the earth, and one of my most treasured possessions. And, caveat, they recently made a fun BBC tv series of it! Hip hip hooray!

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Book review: <i>Christmas In Absaroka County</i> by Craig Johnson


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Christmas In Absaroka County is just the thing to get you into the spirit of the season. A tiny taster of the Absaroka County; my only complaint would be that there just wasn't enough of it!

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Book review: <i>The Three Impostors And Other Stories</i> by Arthur Machen


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If this was a residence, it would be a garret in a boarding house in a part of town that was once architecturally significant and dignified but is now decrepit and largely abandoned. With the door nailed shut and a sulphurous smell. (In fact, I'm sure Machen could do better than "sulphurous"...)

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Book review: <i>Devil May Care</i> by Sebastian Faulks, 'writing as Ian Fleming'


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If this was a car, it would be a grey 1933 Bentley convertible with an Amherst-Villiers supercharger (installed against the advice of MI5 mechanics), NO machine guns and NO freaking ejector seats (though there could well be a bottle of single malt in the glove box).

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Book review: <i>Whom God Would Destroy</i> by Commander Pants


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A light-hearted romp through the big boys of serious topics - Whom God Would Destroy examines the subjects of religion, psychiatry, the mentally ill, and alien conspiracies in a sniggeringly hilarious meander through some cunning plot twists and a whole new understanding of the universe as it is.

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Book review: <i>Lucky Jim</i> by Kingsley Amis


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If this was fused with a grim, dystopian sci-fi blockbuster in some of Godawful teleporter accident it would be the film 'Brazil'.

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Book review: <i>Spook Country</i> by William Gibson


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If this was written before anyone had heard of the author, it would get a pretty patchy reception.

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Book review: <i>Lolita</i> by Vladimir Nabokov


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If this was about a pubescent boy instead of a pubescent girl, it would confirm everything a certain sort of person likes to pretend lurks primarily within the purview of the homosexual mindset. But it isn't, so deal with it, heteros.

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Book review: <i>Neverwhere</i> by Neil Gaiman


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Neverwhere is a whimsical tale about a man called Richard, doors, rats, myths, and what really happens underneath London.

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Book review: <i>After You With The Pistol</i> by Kyril Bonfiglioli


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If this was written by a middle-class douchebag with all the observational skill but zero percent of the humour, it would be any Ian Fleming book.

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Book review: <i>Vile Bodies</i> by Evelyn Waugh


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If this was a dance, it would be the Charleston.

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Book review: <i>The Great Gatsby</i> by F. Scott Fitzgerald


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If this was a dance, it would be the Lindy Hop.

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Book review: <i>Blind Faith</i> by Ben Elton


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When did Ben Elton go from funny social commentator with a penchant for satiric wit to a bitter, bitter old man? Even if you've been in denial for a while, Blind Faith is terribly disappointing.

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Book review: <i>Native Toungue</i> by Carl Hiaasen


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When you're trying to compete with Florida Disney for your place in the developers market, everything's fair. Right? Even the invention of an endangered species?

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Book review: <i>Tuxes</i> by Scott Fivelson


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An exciting tale of love, betrayal, money, high fashion, and an unexpected cave man deep in the heart of Texas.

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Book review: <i>Isle Of Dogs</i> by Patricia Cornwell


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If I were going to be quoted on the front cover of the next edition of this book, I would want my quote to say "Mind-blowingly appalling. Words simply cannot do justice to how low Patricia Cornwell has sunk."

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Book review: <i>Call Waiting</i> by Michelle Cunnah


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America's answer to Bridget Jones flops spectacularly, in a book that is an embarrassment to read for any fans of the Chick lit genre or Helen Fielding.

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Book review: <i>The Best A Man Can Get</i> by John O'Farrell

Book review: The Best A Man Can Get by John O'Farrell


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If this was a razor, it would be a Gillette Mach 3 disposable.

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Book review: <i>Rant: An Oral History of Buster Casey</i> by Chuck Palahniuk


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If this was a car, it would be going cheap—a DeLorean someone died in. Pay cash, clean it yourself.

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