Ear infections, Masaya Volcano, and a pleasant bout of food poisoning

It's okay, Telepizza. I have reservations about large groups as well.

Obviously, getting back home from our five star vacation took some getting used to. There was the lack of five starness in our house, for example. And the lack of swimming pools. And the lack of zoo. We begrudgingly got used to these things and set about a little more relaxation in the couple of days before Leah took off.

Short story: Not This Time

She looked back at me, trying to be penitent, trying to look contrite and like she was honestly sorry and like she knew what she'd done and how in the wrong she was.

Short story: At The Pub

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p>I admit it, I was a bit pissed.

San Juan Del Sur, a water taxi to Majagual, and a bottle of suave vodka...


Eagerly awaiting the arrival of our boat taxi on the shores of San Juan Del Sur.


On our final full day in San Juan Del Sur, we decided it was time to get out there and actually swim in the pacific. We didn't want to swim at the actual San Juan Del Sur beach, because it was fairly oily looking from all the moored boats, the sewerage from the town was outlet right into the middle of the bay, and on top of that all the local dogs appeared to use the beach as their toilet. So we booked a water taxi to take us to one of the less accessible northern beaches: Majagual. We packed a picnic lunch, farewelled our awesome villa, and wandered down to the beachfront to catch the boat.

Short story: Aspiration

I like to ensure that, before I leave the house for the morning, my beard is freshly trimmed, my teeth are shining like a toothpaste commercial, and the tips of my shoes are gleaming with reflected early morning sunlight. I use cold cream on my face at night to keep my skin elastic, and every second evening place cucumber slices over my closed eyes to restore that green glint, to reduce redness, and to slow down the aging process.

Short story: Leaving



I’m going to leave now.

Short story: Everyone's Favourite Teacher



Now Bill, you’ve just been doing an excellent job this year, excellent.

Short story: Last Day Of School

She walked towards the table in the middle of the classroom where the plastic time capsule lay open, like a treasure trove of memorabilia for the kids to open at their tenth reunion.

A Halloween party, margaritaville, Leah and Hillary Duff, and a room for every occasion...


When in doubt, black is the halloween colour...


Because we were completely unprepared to dress up, Leah and I took the lots-of-black-clothes-and-black-eyeliner-counts-as-dressing-up-for-halloween path. After much deliberation, we managed to make Kaleb a bang-up ninja costume cunningly crafted from tie-pants, one of my black hoodies, Dave's singlet, and several well placed safety pins. Then we hurried down to the bar to take advantage of happy hour, and a few more rounds of margaritas.

Short story: A Nice Cup Of Tea

People say that beauty is only skin deep, and that it’s what’s inside a person that really counts, but when you look like me, people tend to forget that there might be anything inside me at all worth looking for.

Short story: Malaria



“I reckon maybe you have malaria.”

Short story: The Train



Every day when I get on the train to go to work, I stand with my toes just over the yellow safety line as my small act of rebellion for the morning.

San Juan Del Sur, Lago Azul, Pelican Eyes and a good old fashioned relax at a luxury resort


Ah, the luxury of the ferry.


We settled up our extortionate hotel bill the following morning, and heaved our packs back to the port at Moyagulpa. Alright, we had someone else heave them into the luxury 4WD and hand them to us at the dock. We found out that we were just in time to catch the ferry—very luxurious compared to the fiberglass Pepsi boat we arrived in—and spent the hour long journey alternating between the luxury cabin watching bad Spanish soaps and the top deck, from which we had unfettered 360 degree views, an invigorating breeze, and a view of the truck filled with maduro that had pulled onto the ferry with us.The views were fabulous.

Short story: Freedom



As I recollect, the words they used 'bout me on the news afore I was caught was "delinquent" and "notorious".

Short story: Waiting



The snow is uneven, slushy, glinting murkily in the tailights of the traffic that lumbers past like shiny red-bottomed elephants on skates and fades into the dark night.

Short story: The Exterminator



From my lofty height I stare down at the seething masses.

Cascada San Ramon, Petroglyphs, and our initiation into the saddle club...


Bright eyed and bushy tailed at 8AM. Except Leah, for whom breakfast was a bit much...

Devastatingly enough, we had to be up and ready to go at 7:30AM for the San Ramon waterfall hike, which we begrudgingly achieved. We scoffed a mediocre breakfast while being swooped by hungry insects, dogs, and urracas. Then we wandered out to the foyer of the hotel to await our ride.

Short story: The Boss



I hate all the people in my department, with their antagonism, their machismo, their relentless bullying and big hands and meaty, manly jowls.

Short story: Job Interview



I ashed my cigarette all over his desk pretending not to notice the angry red "no smoking" signs.

Short story: My Old Man



I'll puzzle through the old man's petulance.

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