Illiterarty.com Book reviews and blogs by Bridget

I could have loved this tale of intrigue, nazis and cute CIA agents, but the ridiculously stereotyped nature of the characters let me down. Which is a shame, because I really enjoyed aspects of the writing style.

If this was a three-AM takeaway treat, it would be deep fried haggis. Yes they have that.

I've never read any Walter Walker before, but I've decided I want to read more. His writing style is so engaging that I was hooked from the first few pages, and the storyline manages to be action packed, even when all the crime in the story is officially cold.

If this was a comic which is about a thousand times better, it would be The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Neo-colonialism, Nikes, and the meaning of life, death, and loss. Scott Fivelson knocks it out in four pages, and Mariel Hemingway adds dimensions with her glorious narrative.

If this was written by me, it would be called "The Too Much Drinking Diaries 1997-2007" and prescribed to brave and chronic insomniacs only.

A little taster of Walt Longmire that's been released to whet potential readers appetites' for the new full length novel... and whet it does indeed!

If this was edited with a hatchet, you'd get half a funny book; you could then threaten the author with the hatchet until he produced the other half.

Sometimes, just sometimes, you open up a book and start reading, and you're utterly hooked because you just have absolutely no idea where the story will go. In And The Soft Wind Blows, everything is where it's supposed to be, but there's an unpredictability over-riding everything. And it's the business.

If this was the average quality of writing found in textbooks, I would have ACED high school, surrounded by greater student interest in economics, to name one subject.

Yes, I do love Douglas Adams. Yes, this book is one of my most favouritest books on the face of the earth, and one of my most treasured possessions. And, caveat, they recently made a fun BBC tv series of it! Hip hip hooray!

If this was written forty years ago, it would be called "Bebop and Marijuana - Your Teenagers Could Do Worse."

Guadeloupe may look like a tiny island paradise owned by the French, but under the lazy tropical sun, Guadeloupe is like a political powder keg. How can an outsider like Marie Laveaud have any hope of representing the law of France here, when the reality is so different?

If this was an entry in a log book, it would be hanging off the wall of the bushwalking hut you find just before the storm hits, and the whole event would seem more like an adventure and less of a trial.

It took me a while to figure out why I got so into this book, and then I had an epiphany – it's like a super exciting and stretched out episode of Law and Order IN BOOK FORM. And I do love me a bit of L and O.

If this was a cartoon, it would be South Park's John Edwards episode.

I was going to have a little lie on the couch and watch some tv before I wrote this book review, but then I remembered about procrastinating later, which was just one of the excellent slogans presented in this fantastic little guide to writers. And so here we are.

If this was a play, it would be called "The Extraordinarily Talented But Oddly Modest Playwright Who, It's Easy To Imagine, Finds All This Fuss Amusing".

I've had my kindle for a month now, and while there's not really a machine that can replicate the glory of an actual, real life book, the kindle is an excellent substitute.